How to Improve Communication Skills – Influence Anyone!
Effective communication… Do you have it? Most people don’t care about their communication skills and they never spend time to improve it.
But, I’ll tell you one thing… To succeed at life you must have great communication skills!
Whether you want to be a business leader, or just simply have better relationships with your friends and family, you MUST learn how to improve communication skills.
You must be able to express yourself how you feel, what you desire without any issues or problems. If you fail to make people understand your emotions and desires, you might be missing out on many opportunities in life.
I’ve worked as a door to door salesman before and it was only then, that I realized how important it is to have strong communication skills.
If you lack in this area, you can’t convince people, you can’t hold a strong conversation, and you appear weak and anxious.
You simply make it harder for people to like you. You must be fantastic at something else if you want to be likable without good communication skills.
And even then, this is just too important to let go.
How to Improve Communication Skills
Like most things in life, improving your communication skills will take time and dedication, especially if you’re really bad at expressing yourself.
But, like I’ve said before, this is really important if you want to succeed in life.
You will appear more confident, attract people towards you and make them like you, get more opportunities and simply get your way more often than not.
Some people don’t even realize the power they have. You can literally influence other people in any way you want and get whatever you want, but you have to know how to do it.
Now, I’m not saying that you should use this for your evil plans to take over the world, but you can use communication skills to make someone buy a tripple cheeze pizza with extra cheese for you, because you want it!
Ain’t that cool? You will never need to buy food with your own money, because you can convince others to do it out of their pocket!
Okay, I’m just kidding. DON’T use your friends or even strangers like that. I’m just saying that you can get what you want almost all the time.
But you get the idea… Better communication skills = more power.
So, here’s what you can do to improve those powerful skills!
1. Did You Even Listen To Me?
Did anyone ever ask you this question? If they did… Then you’re a terrible listener!
If you really want to become better at communication, you simply must listen to what other people have to say to you. Just chill out and listen. Is that so hard to do?
It’s a really important part of a conversation. If you can’t listen, you won’t have good communication skills.
You see, when you’re talking with someone, the other person wants to feel important, he want’s to be heard. So, if you are not listening, the other person will definitely notice.
You need to establish trust. Whenver you speak with someoene, make that person the biggest priority in your life. Don’t worry, you don’t have to keep it like that forever! Just until you finish talking…
Check out these tips that will help you improve your listenting skills.
2. Look Into My Eyes!
Why are you not looking at my eyes when I’m speaking to you? Why the hell are you looking at the floor? Did you drop something on the ground?
You must maintain eye contact with the person you’re speaking with. If you’re looking at the floor or just anywhere else, the person might think you’re not interested in the conversation.
This might be even seen as disrespect to some people.
I know, I know… “But it’s so hard to look into someone’s eyes! I’m scared!”. Well, what are you sacred of? It’s not like we’re living in an X-Men universe and everyone is shooting lasers out of their eyes.
You must beat your fears if you want to proggress in life, so start having that eye contact! Let’s practice right now. Look into my eyes for a few minutes without looking away! Oh wait… You can’t, because I’m on the other side of the world.
Well, here’s a great video that can help you out:
3. KISS Everyone!
Now, you might think, “What the hell, dude? I ain’t gonna kiss everyone!”.
Yes, yes… I know you won’t do that. But you see… I didn’t say kiss everyone… I said KISS everyone. Which is short for Keep It Short & Simple
When I was working as a sales man, every team leader would say this – keep it short & simple. People like when you take less than an hour to explain how delicious your tipple cheese pizza was.
When I knocked on doors, all kinds of people came through those “gates of hell”. A lot of them didn’t have much time, they were having dinner, talking on the phone or they were simply angry to see me.
So, I had to explain what’s going on really quickly and in a simple way. I just had to quickly get the point accross, without saying anything too complicated, so I wouldn’t take much of their time away.
the KISS principle is really important if you want great communication skills.
Always get to the point, don’t talk about unneccesary stuff and don’t get too complicated (unless there’s no way to make it simple).
Now, does the expression “KISS everyone” still sound weird?
4. Observe and Understand Body Language
Body language? What does that even mean? Do our bodies speak or something?
In a way, YES! By observing other people’s body language, you can basically get in their head. While reading minds is impossible, it’s definitely possible to predict what others are thinking and how they feel. And with great accuracy as well!
It’s not easy, because there’s just so many small details to observe. For example, when someone is talking to you and his feet is pointed away from you, that means he wants to leave.
Or, if a person is rapidly tapping fingers, this might mean he’s bored or frustrated. These are just 2 examples. You could write a whole book if you were to write about all the nonverbal signals (there’s many books about that already).
Why is this important? Because, it’s a big part of communication. We don’t only communicate with our mouth, but our whole bodies are included in this activity!
You don’t even need to be an expert at this, just by observing other people you can understand how they feel and what they think.
This way you can influence people much easier. People will simply like you more, because they will feel like you completely understand them!
Plus, once you understand nonverbal signals, you can manipulate your own body language to appear as more confident even if you don’t feel very confident.
5. Slow, Loud and Clear!
Don’t you just hate when someone talks really quickly? Gosh, they’re just mumbling.
Try not to be that person, Okay? If you want to be great at communication, you must speak slow, loud and clear.
Your listener must understand what you’re saying. All great speakers talk slowly and loud, so you would hear every single word and have time to process the information presented to you.
I often meet people who talk really silently and too quickly. I simply get tired of asking questions like, “What?”, “Can you repeat that?, “Sorry, couldn’t hear ya, what?”.
After like 10th time of asking “what” I give up and pretend that I understand and hope it wasn’t a question. But seriously, isn’t that annoying?
If people often keep asking you to repeat what you’ve said, that means you gotta slow down and speak louder!
6. No Distractions!
We’re living in the age of technology and people can’t live without all of these innovations… Even when we communicate with each other!
Do you ever look at your phone when you’re speaking with someone? If you answered yes, you have some work to do!
Put away your phone, don’t look at TV or play video games while you communicate with people. Give full attention to the person in front of you.
I bet it doesn’t feel very good when someone’s talking to you and then you realize you didn’t hear a word, because you were absorbed by your phone.
You’re just like, “Sorry, what? My phone was more interesting than your words”. You might not say that, but that’s how it looks and feels.
How would you like it if someone was looking at their phone all the time while you were talking to them? I bet you would feel like they don’t give a crap on what you’re saying.
7. Do You Even Ask Questions?
Ask questions! A lot of questions if you want!
By asking questions, you appear as though you’re interested in the conversation. Don’t ask questions like, “Soooo, do you like bread?” out of desperation, to fill in the awkward silence.
Ask some questions that could potentially lead to a conversation. For example, if I meet someone new, I often ask if they read books, if they answer yes, I would go ahead and ask what they have been reading as of lately.
If they answer no… I would immediately turn away and leave! Nah, just kidding… I don’t judge people by that.
Related: 250 Conversation Starters
I could give you more examples, but the above link has more than enough for you to get the idea.
Plus, when the other person is speaking, make sure to ask questions to clarify certain things. Don’t stay quiet if you didn’t understand something. Don’t be afraid to clarify misunderstood points.
This really shows that you’re interested!
8. Avoid Filler Words
So, um, like, how do I… You know, do it?
Searching for words in your pockets? You simply vibrate low confidence if you’re using a lot of filler words.
Just relax and take it slow. Have you ever seen someone who does a public speech and uses tons of filler words? I have…
Let’s just say, I didn’t wanna live while he was speaking. I guess it’s one of those cringe moments. I simply felt embarrassed for that poor guy.
So, if you don’t want other people to cringe over you, avoid filler words at all costs!
Also, avoid them all the time, not only when you’re giving a speech or something. How can you, um, like get your point, you know, across if you, am… can’t speak without, like, you know, LAGGING all the time.
Get Out There and Practice!
We could be talking about how to improve communication skills all day long, but you won’t get better at it if you never get out there and actually apply any of these things.
Sure, it’s great to learn about the body language, but if you never get to observe people, you will never truly understand the language.
Sure, it’s great to hold eye contact with people in a video, but if you never do it in real life, you won’t become good at it.
There’s loads of articles, videos and books that you can read and watch about this, but the key to success is… Are you ready to hear it? It’s MASSIVE ACTION!
Apply all that you learn and you will become the greatest version of yourself.
How well do you understand the body language? What are your favorite conversation starters? Comment bellow!