How To Stop Social Anxiety? Heal Your Mind!

Every living being needs some company and so do you. Yes sometimes we get bored with people and want some time alone, but in general, we are not supposed to be alone all the time.

Sure, it’s cool to refresh your mind and spend some time alone. But if you’re afraid or just hate being in social environments and would rather spend a whole eternity all alone, then this can be a problem.

We simply need to socialize, but for some people it’s not that easy because of social anxiety. So what is social anxiety? and more importantly how to stop social anxiety?

What Is Social Anxiety

If you want to stop social anxiety first you need to understand what is it. Social anxiety is simply fear of being judged by other people which leads to avoiding social interactions.

Imagine some shy boy who tries to interact with people, but once he starts talking (or people talk to him), he becomes a bit nervous. Then he imagines what could happen if the conversation doesn’t go well?

The fear kicks in. Fear of rejection is very strong. Various feelings like inferiority or inadequacy makes things even worse. The boy is scared, he doesn’t want to feel embarrassment or humiliation so he starts to avoid people and anxiety gets stronger.

One day, the boy is forced to be in some sort of social situation and he becomes irrational, because his fears are really strong.

If someone says a few wrong words, the boy might take them too seriously, he might start to think there is something wrong with him or that social situations aren’t for him and he might start to avoid being social as much as possible.

Time spent alone becomes the best time and whenever he ends up in a conversation or a social event, he will try to escape as fast as possible. Such avoidance of people lead to awkward mental state and may end up in depression.

How To Stop Social Anxiety

Avoid negativeThe beginning of solving any kind of problem is realizing that there IS a problem. To begin, you must have the right mindset, be positive.

Try to avoid thought’s like ”I’m gonna screw up this conversation immediately” or ”I’m gonna make myself look like a fool”.

Those kinds of thoughts will hold you back, and possibly will be the entire reason of failure. Keep in mind that the more you think about them, the stronger those thoughts will become.

If you can’t stop negative thoughts, anxiety can grow really rapidly and if you let it grow it will be incredibly hard to fight it. So try to avoid the triggers that cause negative thoughts.

Try to recognize what triggers your anxiety the most. For example, it might be some specific people that make you extremely nervous when you are around them or it could be a specific public place. Maybe it’s a social activity where your fears are bigger than usual?

Sooner or later you will have to face all your fears, even the biggest ones and once again you have to be prepared mentally. Have that positive mindset all the time.

A Therapist May Help

Most people think that a therapist is for ”crazy people” and it’s something that should be avoided. But it’s not like that at all.

Imagine that you just broke your leg, what do you do? You call the ambulance and end up in some doctor’s hands and you feel no shame in that, right? Doctors can help to recover your physical body.

Somehow, so many people tend to forget that a therapist is a doctor as well. He can help you to recover your mental health. Therapists shouldn’t be avoided and society shouldn’t judge someone who visits a therapist – it’s completely normal.

Therapists understand people really well, they are professionals and they give advises and recommendations that are just right for you specifically.

Even a simple conversation with a therapist may show some hidden fears and a good therapist will tell you how to fight them.

In some cases when anxiety is extremely strong and a patient feels like he can’t fight them anymore, a therapist may decide that medication is needed. Personally I’m against of any kind medication, but probably in some cases that might be the safest option.

Meditation and Corect Breathing

Meditation and breathingIf you don’t want therapy help and you decide tho fight anxiety on your own, probably the best method to do that is meditation.

The western world is very ignorant of meditation, yoga, reiki, etc… Meditation will simply make you calm down. Just don’t give up if you can’t spend much time on meditation, because even 10-15 minutes per day of meditation will have huge benefits.

You might consider to start practicing yoga, since it’s a really good way to relax and strengthen your mind. Also, you could join some yoga group and meet new people with different kinds of mindsets.

If you don’t like yoga you could try reiki healing. Reiki is supreme at healing, it can help heal your body, mind and spiritual body and I can personally recommend reiki to anyone who has any kind of sickness.

In both yoga and reiki you will soon realize that breathing is extremely important, same thing goes to fighting social anxiety. There are plenty of breathing techniques that can help you calm down.

If you learn how to breathe correctly it will be way easier to relax and that is exactly what you want to do if you struggle with anxiety.

Slow, deep breaths through your nose and correct posture will be huge help to control fears and stress. Just master the art of breathing and your fight will be way easier.

Meet new people

Sometimes it’s very good to change your surroundings. Do you like your job? If not, then don’t be afraid to look for a new one. You are doing yourself no good if you hate your job.

Do you like where you live? if not, then it’s time to make changes and find a new place to live. Don’t be afraid to change something, especially if that something isn’t working well.

Change of surroundings might be exactly what you need. Same thing goes with the people that surround you. Maybe your current friends make you feel uncomfortable or simply, because of their negative energy, socializing becomes even harder than it is already.

Try meeting new people. Maybe you will meet wonderful new people who won’t trigger your anxiety. Maybe they will help you with your problems. The possibilities are endless!

Try to meet new people from places that you’ve never been before, try some new hobbies like chess, basketball, meditation, reading books, simply anything new to you. This way you will meet different kinds of people.

New people in your life will bring energy and a little chaos, but don’t be afraid of the chaos part. In small portions chaos is a good thing for you.

Try to stay away from comfort zone because it makes you lazy and ignorant to problems that sooner or later you will have to face.

Learn How To Read Body Language

The biggest reason why you might have social anxiety, is because you’re always thinking that other people are observing you and they are waiting for you to screw up.

Nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, most people have this sort of mindset. But there’s a really good way to fix this. It’s by learning to read body language.

Firstly, you have to forget observing yourself. Stop thinking about what you do or the way you look. Shift your thoughts from yourself to others.

This way you will be aware of other people’s body language. By trying to read people’s body language, your focus won’t be on yourself. You won’t be trapped in your head anymore.

All those thoughts of being judged will go away, because you won’t care about it. Once you become pretty good at reading body language, you will realize that most people are trapped in their own heads.

They are not thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves, so there is no reason to feel anxious about anything.

Reading body language is a skill that will simply attract others to you, because you can understand how they feel and what they want.

It’s not the easiest skill to learn, but you don’t have to become a master at it. Just simply observing other people will shift your destructive thoughts away.

Here’s a good video about learning to read body language!

You Can Do It!

Everyone can overcome social anxiety, but without efforts and dedication it won’t be possible. Don’t ignore problems that surround you, because they won’t be solved without you.

So stop being ignorant and start taking actions. You already know how to stop social anxiety, all you need to do is to stop finding excuses and start fighting.

You simply have to understand that most people are always trapped in their own head, you’d be surprised how little they think about you. Nobody is waiting for you to mess up. People have their own problems.

 

Did you ever try to read someone’s body language and are you good at it? Comment below!

12 thoughts on “How To Stop Social Anxiety? Heal Your Mind!”

  1. AnxietyPanda says:

    Thanks for pointing out some great ways to approach social anxiety! It’s important to remember that sometimes, you will never overcome this fear completely, but by utilizing valuable tips as mentioned in this article, you will definitely be able to be the boss of it!
    I am an introvert with mild social anxiety. Being an introvert, social anxiety is a blessing to me, really, because I do prefer to be alone most of the time. But, I also know that life must still happen and there are certain times and situations where I just can’t be “socially anxious”. Thanks for providing these great methods to handle everything a bit better!

    1. Donny says:

      Yes, allowing social anxiety to control you is going to make your life a living hell. Most people feel anxious in some situations, but it’s important to be able to take over at any time.

  2. Win Bill Huang says:

    Many years ago, I had social anxiety problems also. At that time, I didn’t pay attention to it, and I put it off for a while. Slowly, I disconnected from my classmates and school and I was always alone.

    Eventually, like you mentioned, I realized there’s a problem so I kind of thought about what to do. Instead of avoiding it, I kind of watched how other people interact with one another.

    Slowly, I realize that I still can’t be like those people, because when I see someone laugh back then, I get nervous. Eventually, I started approaching some people who seem just as lonely as me and tried to start conversations. It took a couple of years but I finally got better. Do you think my method was good back then?

    1. Donny says:

      Well, it’s always good to go out and try to approach people, but it is important to realize that we become similar to the people that surround us. If you’re only approaching and hanging out with people who are anxious, chances are, you will be just like them as well. 

  3. David says:

    Thanks for your article, you have a lot of good information here. While I generally do not suffer from social anxiety, I know a several people who do. A couple of them do some self medicating to deal with the anxiety. One has a couple of drinks and the other smokes pot whenever they are in a social situation. I’m not convinced that it’s a good solution for them, but they both swear by it. Your thoughts?

    1. Donny says:

      While it might be a temporary way for them to ease anxiety, it’s only going to get worse when they are not taking their “medications”. Alcohol and pot is not a solution to every problem. It’s just a temporary thing, which leads to many more problems in life.

  4. Eartha says:

    I feel a bit awkward in social situations myself. I know that I am an introvert, but I have never really thought about social anxiety.

    I gained a lot of insight from this article. As for myself, being around people tends to feel very draining after awhile.

    I’m glad that you pointed out meditation as a natural way to relieve anxiety. It is a strategy that works for me. Yoga is a great practice as well.

    These are really great tips. Thanks for sharing this.

    1. Donny says:

      Yes, yoga and meditation is great for many things! It can definitely help you deal with social anxiety. There’s nothing wrong in having some sort of social anxiety, because most people have it, but never admit it.

  5. DrDoug says:

    I agree that there are many techniques for calming down and dealing with social anxiety. I’ve been trying to practice deep breathing and I find it surprisingly effective. What do you think of using CBD oil from hemp for dealing with social anxiety? It is one of the uses people are finding for this new all natural oil and it seems to be working.

    1. Donny says:

      CBD oil from hemp can definitely be used for that. I haven’t used it, but I think hemp products are all great.

  6. Rachel says:

    Talking is easy, doing is hard.

    I do have mild social anxiety, I know it because I am aware of myself constantly fearing of judgement when other people are probably more interested/engrossed in other stuff.

    There’s of course nothing wrong in receiving therapy for help – it’s depending on the social circle one is in. Not every one is open-minded to the idea of therapy and still view it as a place where only those who are ‘crazy’ will go. I had friends who had shunned me after knowing that I went to the school counselor for talks because of my own problems. I lost them, I felt sad, but now looking back on it, I believe it was worth it – but make no mistake, I still feel sad over losing them. I simply acknowledged that to make changes, sometimes I HAVE to let go of something.

    1. Donny says:

      Letting go is a hard process that takes time. I understand that losing friends can make you feel quite sad, but if it was for the better, than you should focus on this part rather than the negative emotions that you had back then.

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