Let’s Talk About How To Let Go Of The Past
All of us think about the past, some people think about it quite a lot, others not so much. It’s only natural to think about what once was, because we have memories and we can’t really forget our past.
We are emotional creatures and specific memories stay in our mind for a very long time if the emotion was strong at that specific time.
Whether you lost your job, ended a beautiful relationship, got into an accident or basically experienced anything sad, all of those things caused some sort emotions.
And it doesn’t stop there. It’s haunting you all the time, because you think about the past and the emotions come back to you. It might make you sad or miserable.
You start asking questions like, “what if it didn’t happen?”, “what if I could’ve fixed everything”, “would my life be better right now if I didn’t do it?”.
The thing is, you can’t simply erase some memories no matter how hard you want that to happen. In fact, if you really focus on erasing that memory, it will be even harder to move on, because you’re always focusing on it.
What you focus on, grows. If you constantly focus on your past, you will always get those bad emotions returning to you.
I used to cling on to the past all the time. It made sad and depressed, because I didn’t appreciate life for what it is. I simply didn’t realize how good my life is right now, because I was only thinking about bad experiences and situations in my past.
I always sucked at first impressions, so when I met new people, let’s just say, I didn’t leave them a reason to like me. Most of the time I was kinda rude or did something stupid.
After those kinds of situations, I “relived” those memories all the time and asked myself, “why did I do this?“, “why do I act so stupid“, “I hate myself for doing it” and so on.
I kept destroying myself with all those negative thoughts and I didn’t live in the present. I wanted to change the past so much, that I didn’t care what’s going on right now.
Talking about how to let go of the past, right? That wasn’t my goal back then…
Do you often daydream and think how cool it would be to simply go back in time 10 years, while retaining all your current memories, experience, knowledge and change your life completely?
I thought about it a lot. There were many times I wished I could just turn back time and change many things. But the fact is, there’s no way of doing that.
See, when I realized this, I stopped worrying about the past, because there is no logical reason to stress about something that you can’t change anymore.
No matter how much you think about it, NOTHING will change about the past. There’s only one thing that will definitely happen… It will make you sad, it will bring back all those horrible emotions.
You can’t change the past and you can’t predict the future. And that is why you should always try to live in the present.
Let’s Talk About How To Let Go Of The Past
Before you can let go of the past, you have to realize that you’re making your life worse with those destructive thoughts.
Ask yourself, what do you get from living in the past? What do you get from “reliving” all those memories all the time? Well, I can easily answer that question.
You get nothing good. You only get negative emotions, which makes your present moment a lot worse than it could be. It also limits you from self-improvement. You can’t do anything productive, because you’re always dwelling into negative emotions.
Is that the life you really want? Destroying yourself for something that once happened and can’t be changed?
It is only when you let go of the past, you can experience full emotional freedom and happiness. Only then, you can fully live in the present moment without shame or guilt.
If you want to become the greatest version of yourself, you must not allow your past to anchor you down.
Now, let’s see what we can do to fix this problem…
Realize That It’s Not Real
What if I told you that your past is not real? The past is only a concept (future as well).
It WAS real once, but now it’s gone. It doesn’t exist anymore.
You know what’s real? The present moment. This current second is reality.
Whatever happened in the past, existed only then. Now it’s all gone. It’s only a thought inside your head that it once happened.
So, why focus on something that is not real? Why give some sort of emotional meaning towards a concept?
Stay in reality and live in the present moment.
Focus On Your Goals!
When someone dwells in their past, they forget to focus on their goals.
It’s hard to forget the past if you’re not doing anything else but thinking about how you could’ve changed something to be happier now…
Well, you don’t have to change your past to forget about it. You can change your present moment to take your mind away from the past.
To do that, you should have some goals in mind that you want to achieve. Want to have a better body? Start exercising, go to the gym. Want a new relationship? Start going out more, be active.
Check out: 8 activities to clear your mind.
The point is, you must do SOMETHING if you want to forget. Activities will take your mind away and if you have some goal that you want to achieve, you’ll have to focus on the goal instead of the past.
At first, it’s still going to be hard to take your mind away from the bad emotions… But the more activities you do, the less you’ll think about it.
I personally find exercising as a great way to forget about something. When I’m working out, I seem to forget about everything else, because I have to fully immerse my mind and body into the exercise.
Focus On Your Breath
To forget the past, you must put your focus somewhere else.
One of the simplest ways to do that, is by focusing on your breath. While it’s not the most effective way to forget, it’s the simplest, so why not give it a shot?
It will help you reduce stress and anxiety, so if your past experience is causing it, then I suggest you do some breathing exercises.
Let Go Of Fear
Past experiences cause us fear of taking action.
For example, if you had a wonderful relationship and it ended horribly, you will be afraid to get into a new relationship, because you might think it will happen again.
This will hold you down of taking any kind of action to get into a relationship.
You must stop fearing of what might happen…
Check out: 4 steps to let go of past fears.
If you keep worrying about what could happen, probably it will happen, because that’s what you’re focusing on.
Instead, start worrying positively. What do I mean by that?
This is how you do it – start worrying “what if this new relationship will be even better than the last?”, “what if I will be very happy?”, “what if I will find my soulmate?”
By worrying positively, there are more chances that your past experiences won’t won’t become your future experiences as well.
Take A Walk In The Nature
Sometimes the negative emotions from the past can overwhelm us.
I often take a walk in the nature to let go of all stresses and worries, because it’s so calming.
Have a forest nearby? Go there! Explore, feel connection with nature…
Walking is a great activity that brings your focus to the present moment. Just find a place that’s pretty quiet and beautiful at the same time.
Gaze upon the amazing creations that our world has. Feel like you’re one with the nature. Do that for as long as you need.
Sometimes I head out into a forest for a few hours and I return fully relaxed and calm. It’s such a great way to attract more positive energy into your life.
I started doing this when I really wanted to let go of the past. I couldn’t sit at home, because I was killing myself with destructive thoughts.
Trust me, it will definitely help you remove those negative thoughts, just like it helped me!
Meditate To Start Living In The Present Moment!
This is a great way to move your focus from the past to the present.
The main goal of meditation is to become present and aware of your surroundings, to feel connection with the universe.
If tried everything and you still can’t let go of the past, I recommend you to meditate. Make this a daily habit and you’ll notice a lot of improvement, I promise!
Check out this meditation guide for beginners if you’re not sure how to start.
You don’t have to meditate for hours to forget about your past. Just by meditating for 10-15 minutes every day, you’ll notice a lot of changes.
By becoming present and aware of your surroundings, you will realize that there is no reason to attach negative emotions for to your memories.
That is, because the present is the reality, and the past doesn’t matter anymore.
So, go ahead and start meditating if you want to live in the present moment, but find it hard to do!
Focus On The Good Things
What we focus on, grows…
When you’re thinking about all the bad things about your past, you’re only attracting more negativity into your life.
Instead of focusing on all the negative things that happened in the past, focus on the beautiful things that happened.
If you think, that there is nothing good about your past, then you’re wrong. There is always something good, but you fail to realize this.
I don’t care how tragic your relationship was, there has to be something that made you happy at least a little. That is the main reason you had this relationship in the first place, right?
So, focus on the things that made you happy in that relationship, instead of what made you sad or miserable.
I just gave you one example. No matter what happened, even if someone dear to you has passed way, you can always focus on something beautiful about that person.
Think how happy the person made you when he was alive. Don’t think how sad it made you when he passed away. I know, it’s very hard… but you MUST start seeing the positive in every situation if you want to let go of the past and attract more positive situations and experiences into your life.
Make the law of attraction work for you. It can either make you happy, or miserable. It only attracts whatever you’re focusing on. So, CHANGE your focus…
Forget About Revenge
We often give ourselves the illusion that revenge will make us feel better.
Whatever happened in the past, a lot of people want to have revenge if someone hurt or treated them bad in any way.
That is a very bad thing to do. You might think that it’s going to give you some sort of emotional relief, but it won’t change anything in the end.
Like I’ve said before, you can’t change the past and by having revenge, you are only bringing more negative energy into your present life.
So, why ruin your present life for what happened in the past?
The best kind of revenge is moving on. Forget about the person or people that hurt you. By showing that you are able to forget them and work on becoming the greatest version of yourself, it will bring you emotionl relief!
You’ll be happier by moving on, rather than screwing someone’s life.
So, stop making diabolical plans on how you’re going to destroy somebody’s life. Start making plans on how you’re going to impore YOUR life instead.
Don’t Let Anyone Affect You!
The reason why we get hurt, is because we let other people hurt us.
Also, those negative emotions can cause you to take specific actions that will later make you regret it.
Learn to control your emotions, because that is a great skill to have if you wan’t to remove negativity from your life!
Every time you get hurt, it’s your choice. Every time you let sad emotions ruin your life, it’s your choice…
Controling your emotions is not easy and it takes a lot of time to master them.
Here’s a great video that might help you master your emotions:
Do you have your own tips on letting go of the past? Do you often find yourself thinking about the past? Comment below!